| russian blue |
[17 Nov 2009|12:57pm] |
from wikipedia:
The Russian Blue has a lean elongated body and a short, plush, blue-grey coat. The color is a bluish-grey that is the dilute expression of the black gene. The coat is known as a "double coat," with the undercoat being soft, downy, and equal in length to the guard hairs, which are an even blue with silver tips. Only Russian Blues and the French Chartreux have this type of coat, which is described as thick and wonderfully soft to the touch. The silver tips give the coat a shimmering appearance. Its eyes are almost always a dark and vivid green.
The Russian Blue is known for being a very intelligent and active animal. They have been known to open doors/windows, play fetch, and are sensitive to basic human emotions. They enjoy playing with a variety of toys and develop extremely loyal bonds to their loved ones. The Russian Blue is also known for getting along very well with other pets and children in a household. They are known also for being quiet and clean animals that are normally reserved around strangers, unless they are brought up in a very active household.
so lovely!
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| through with playing by the rules of someone else's game |
[15 Nov 2009|06:32pm] |
5 papers, eighty chapters of reading, 13 sets of lecture slides all to be done in two weeks, one group report due tomorrow that doesn't quite seem to be moving, and all i want to do is continue creating food and art. and sing songs from glee, of course!
today was a guacamole day at home and that is always an excellent thing! my mum's recipe for it is perfect for the novice avocado eater who's afraid of the creamy taste. i should know, i once hated the stuff, but now it's the happiest food i could eat. tomorrow i will make a lunch of prawn and avocado on foccacia and pack it to school!
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| todor mi amor eres tu |
[10 Nov 2009|08:48pm] |
 
tonight i will breathe a little easier, and i will sleep, sweet with satisfaction and validation! thankful today's presentation went well - one of these days i will update home&heart with pictures of the bags and laptop sleeves i made for the project. but for now i have no studying plans tonight, reward is in order: desperate housewives, my baby pillow and me!
 
1. i would really love a bowl of this guacamole to go with the tortilla wraps in the fridge, 2. ugly love bracelets lauren bought for the 3 of us :) i love things like this, will cherish it forever. think it will be a blast for us 3 to wear to europe..like safety tags.
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[08 Nov 2009|06:34pm] |
i am a seamstress, and my room is a sweatshop. there are bit of thread and fluff all over, and i am so tired but in two days this blasted project will be over, save for the final report we have to hand in.
i don't know when my exam dates are but they should be coming up soon? this is probably the most academically insecure i have ever been.
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[07 Nov 2009|12:13pm] |
i've been crying since i awoke.
it was always conditional to begin with.
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| Autumn Sonnet |
[04 Nov 2009|11:16am] |
If I can let you go as trees let go
Their leaves, so casually, one by one;
If I can come to know what they do know,
That fall is the release, the consummation,
Then fear of time and the uncertain fruit
Would not distemper the great lucid skies
This strangest autumn, mellow and acute.
If I can take the dark with open eyes
And call it seasonal, not harsh or strange
(for love itself may need a time of sleep)
And, treelike, stand unmoved before the change,
Lose what I lose to keep what I can keep,
The strong root still alive under the snow,
Love will endure - if I can let you go.
-Autumn Sonnet; May Sarton
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| indulging in some morning OTT window shopping |
[03 Nov 2009|08:16am] |
today i am completely loving this faux fur vest, f21. i hope i get my hands on some faux fur for this winter trip...mmm. bordering on tacky, i think. at least it's a less obvious trend than fringe and studs (on EVERYTHING) and the powershoulder comeback. basically the entire balmain aesthetic. too trendy for me la i'm too uncool for those.
{ urban faux fur vest }
{ feather ring set }
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| i could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love |
[02 Nov 2009|10:09pm] |
songs of love and desperation:
#1 Adele - Make You Feel My Love
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue. I'd go crawling down the avenue. No there's nothing that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love
#2 George Michael - One More Try
And teacher, there are things that I don't want to learn. Oh the last one I had made me cry.So I don't want to learn to hold you, touch you, think that you're mine. Because it ain't no joy for an uptown boy whose teacher has told him good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
#3 Adele - Crazy For You (this song is a vocal masterclass - listen on loud)
Tell me to run and I'll race, if you want me to stop I'll freeze. And if you want me gone I'll leave, just hold me closer baby, and make me crazy for you
this is all i'm listening to right now - adele, george michael, and the occasional glee song to balance out the blues. this, and the night rain...glorious. my senses are congruent with my mood, a kind of relaxed and resigned melancholy, and somehow it is uplifting me the way two negatives make a positive...nice.
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| but at least when you're at your worst you know how to feel |
[01 Nov 2009|01:09am] |
off misswallflower on tumblr.
at this point in my life, i only want to forget. these days i am waiting for something to happen and everyday is a disappointment. so much of what i used to know is gone. i want to fly away on exchange asap and disappear for 6 months so maybe it'll be a chance to start all over and get to know myself again in my purest form, no attachments, not spread too thin over all the obligations. i used to take so much comfort in all these material things and people that were big parts of my life, but that's all they are now - were, past tense. now i don't want any of them, i'm surprised that i can't wait to leave. i've spent so much time fighting. but who's fighting for me? i do not think i truly want to be alone..just that if things keep going the way they are now, i would rather have a fresh independent start. then i will not need to be vulnerable to anything or anyone. perhaps i am reading too much into the dependence = inverse of power equation but damn, it seems about right.
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| "oh cheese and whiskers!" |
[28 Oct 2009|08:34pm] |
i don't know how but i got roped into writing an article for the arts publication, and of course i didn't get to choose my article so now i have to write something on what girls look out for in guys. supposed to collaborate with a guy who's writing on the opposite viewpoint...how do i do it without sounding like the average junkie teen magazine! since i have to put my name on it ultimately, i guess i will just do it properly. my best bet is writing it from a very gender-psychology viewpoint, but since i'm not going to do anymore research than asking my friends what they think, it may just end up as psychology of the trashy nature. shall just be as professional about it as i possibly can!
i don't believe in looking out for qualities and checking criterion off a list per se, i believe so much more in the power of stumbling upon love, and having it grow more and more as you start peeling back onion layers and realising the things that no one else sees on the surface.
duh, girls want guys who are humourous and reliable and all that, but there has to be something more! i wonder whether there are any quirky things about guys that girls just like, that no teen magazine writer has ever realised yet. qualities that seem like individual quirks and preferences but in real life actually apply across the board. for example, i completely dig musical guys that can sit by the piano/guitar/drums/whatever and be at complete ease and confidence, and play with so much passion. it's not a rockstar thing, it's a creativity and confidence thing. anyone feel the same way? what about geek chic?
girls who are reading this, tell me what you think! could be personality traits, or even weird little unique things. if this actually goes to print i'll be sure to keep you in the loop (if i'm not hiding my face in shame). guys are very welcome to comment too! i need a lot of help, so ask your friends too! this is actually a very interesting conversation starter, and you could get answers to the questions you've always wanted to ask your friends. and it would all be in the name of helping a friend out :D
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| black skies |
[24 Oct 2009|08:27pm] |
things get harder and harder with every passing day. things and people i once thought to be constant no longer are, and so these sources of comfort and happiness no longer exist. it is so difficult for me to find someone who will be there to listen or to encourage me, and so the best i can hope for is a song or a poem that can complete my sentences and comprehend my thoughts for me.
in all seriousness, the words 'drop out of school' have been coming into mind of their own free will. of course i won't, but it scares me that i even think about it unconsciously. it is probably testament to how tired i am of everythin, of all the disappointment, and to all the joy that has been so absent for so long. it sounds terrible to say i hate my life, because hate is such a strong word and life is a concept of beauty and such grace, but today i am afraid because i am so close to channeling such ugly thoughts.
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[24 Oct 2009|02:20am] |
I don’t just want
your heart
I want your flesh,
your skin
and blood and bones,
your voice, your thoughts
your pulse
and most of all your
fingerprints,
everywhere.
- Isobel Thrilling
what a sensory overload! it makes me feel awkward but also intrigued at the same time, maybe that's just what happens with these overtly sensual things. it was too intense to pass up though. feels like a poem i would want to remember, or talk of in some future conversation some day.
i am again tired of this school cycle, and i grow wearier with each passing semester. i wish i could be one of those completely detached numb MIA types when it comes to project work, for wholly selfish reasons. but (perhaps thankfully? --debatable) i am not. thankfully so far i have done pretty well, or at least acceptably for tests and quizzes, because projects will really be the death of my CAP and I, and god knows the two seem to be heavily intertwined right about now.
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[21 Oct 2009|11:12pm] |
the weekend is coming!
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| speak to me alex supertramp |
[20 Oct 2009|10:37pm] |
"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life" - Leo Tolstoy, "Family Happiness"
"It should not be denied...that being footloose has always exhilarated us. It is associated in our minds with escape from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations, with absolute freedom, and the road has always led west." - Wallace Stegner, The American West as Living Space
both quotes are headings of chapter three, carthage, from Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer.
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| when the dog bites, when the bee stings |
[20 Oct 2009|08:01am] |
...when i'm feeling sad, i simply remember my favourite things, and then i don't feel so bad!
out of the entire school week, tuesdays are my least favourite days, because my timetable consists entirely out of business modules. what i do look forward to though, is waking up early and sitting at my usual bench on the sunny side of the walkway opposite conference room f, with my choice of coffee for the morning. today it's a really delicious mocha freeze.
in the mornings i somehow feel a lot more comfortable in biz than the deck though. i love coming here in the mornings because you get to see people just, be human. the professors look like regular people just getting their canteen breakfasts, the students don't yet have the crazy competitive exterior cos they all look as nervous as each other mumbling their speeches to themselves. there is a stark difference in the pace of life at the business faculty before and after 9am, and (perhaps sadly) it is my favourite thing so far about having this second major.
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| the girl is mine |
[16 Oct 2009|05:53pm] |
sam - how cute is this! you would hug maomi like this baby if only she would let you. i miss her!
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[14 Oct 2009|10:47pm] |
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it's going to be a beautiful christmas in paris!!!!
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[11 Oct 2009|02:01pm] |
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been waiting for (500) days of summer for two months and at this rate i don't think i'll be able to catch it!! argh
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[11 Oct 2009|01:12am] |
--
not to psychoanalyse myself but i have been studying my abnormal psychology texts and i think the paragraphs in the previous entry might really be freakishly real examples of freudian free association techniques!! i typed it out in a flurry without any self censorship and there is more reflective symbolism in there than i realised. okay now i am really scared. i write for joy and also for catharsis but when the curse of being a psychology student starts becoming very apparent, there is no proper feeling but this one --> :S
ps. no oedipal/electra complex symbolism ok, nothing of the controversial kind!!
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| main effects/interactions |
[11 Oct 2009|12:44am] |
today i sat at the foot of a slide in the dark and looked up and around at the apartment blocks. it was so quiet and windy but all i could think about was how strange the blocks looked. ten floors worth of living spaces all seamlessly matched in layout and structure, ten floors of bedrooms kitchens living rooms stacked one on top of the other, all the living room furniture centered around the television. a block of houses transformed into a neat grid of identical cells in that mindshift. so grotesque.
how bizarre to think how our living spaces are arranged in parallel, and how our lives in turn probably follow the same routines. bed meals work tv bed it goes on and on. ten floors worth of neighbours whose spaces and routines are so alike but never realise it and never meet save for ten second elevator rides. ten floors times infinity for all other souls around the world. we probably are more alike than we know.
today this notion really frightens me - lives running in tandem, but in parallel and never meeting. this reminds me of data plots in my statistics textbook: the basic rule of thumb is that there is an interaction whenever the lines on an interaction plot are not parallel. parallel lines means that no interaction exists and we can keep running on the same gradient and extrapolating our lines but there will never be any point in doing so. i am the last person to see life and metaphors in mathematics, but today i am looking at the larger scale of things and in a longer time frame, and i don't want this to happen to the relationships that have become, or once were so crucial to my being.
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retrospectif's journal